Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
