I haven't been this sober since birth.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
