We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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