just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
