i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
