hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
