I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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