Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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