Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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