So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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