The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
