I think I died a long time ago.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
