We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
