highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
