I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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