i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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