So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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