i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
