and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize