When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
