I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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