K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
