Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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