What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
