I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
