I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
