How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
The best revenge is premature balding
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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