I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
im six kinds of drunk right now
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
