she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
