HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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