he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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