maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
