Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
