I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
