watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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