nutella sex= disaster
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Randomize
