i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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