Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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