PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
