I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
