The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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