things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
