She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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