i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
