I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize