Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
