This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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