Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
