I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
