Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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