he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
