Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
