real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
